When Success Doesn’t Feel Like Enough: Healing from Achievement Fatigue

Success is often seen as the reward for hard work and perseverance. Yet for many BIPOC and first-generation professionals, success does not always feel like fulfillment. It can come with exhaustion, guilt, and a persistent sense of not being enough. This experience is sometimes called achievement fatigue—the emotional, physical, and spiritual exhaustion that comes from striving for worthiness through constant accomplishment.

In my work as a trauma-informed psychologist, I have seen how achievement fatigue often hides beneath the surface of perfectionism, imposter phenomenon, and chronic self-doubt. It is especially common among those whose identities have been shaped by cultural pressure, systemic barriers, and intergenerational trauma.

Why Success Feels Heavy for BIPOC and First-Generation Professionals

For first-generation and BIPOC individuals, success is rarely experienced in isolation. It is often tied to family sacrifice, cultural expectations, and the weight of representation. Many have internalized messages that survival, safety, or belonging depend on performance.

Growing up, you may have been told that education and achievement were the path to security or respectability. You may have carried the hopes of your parents or grandparents who endured racism, migration, poverty, or exclusion. While those narratives can inspire resilience, they can also leave little room for rest or imperfection.

Perfectionism often becomes a survival strategy. It is not vanity or ego. It is the nervous system’s way of saying, If I do everything right, maybe I will finally feel safe, accepted, or worthy.

The Role of Oppression and Historical Trauma

To truly understand achievement fatigue, we must look beyond individual psychology and acknowledge the impact of oppression, racism, and historical trauma. These forces shape the very conditions in which BIPOC professionals live and work.

Many people of color grow up witnessing how mistakes are not viewed equally. Errors made by marginalized individuals can carry higher consequences—professionally, socially, or financially. This creates a sense of hypervigilance and fear of failure that persists long after someone achieves success.

Historical trauma also plays a role. For many communities, survival once depended on compliance, excellence, or invisibility. The internalized message becomes: Work harder. Prove yourself. Do not give them a reason to doubt you. That legacy continues in modern professional environments where representation is still limited, and where microaggressions or bias quietly reinforce the need to overperform.

Achievement fatigue, then, is not just personal burnout. It is also a systemic and ancestral wound that demands collective healing.

How Achievement Fatigue Shows Up

You may recognize yourself in some of these patterns:

• Feeling anxious or restless when you are not working or producing

• Downplaying your successes or feeling like they are “not enough”

• Comparing yourself to peers and believing you are behind

• Feeling responsible for making your family proud or “justifying” their sacrifices

• Struggling to celebrate wins because your mind immediately jumps to the next goal

• Experiencing guilt or shame when resting or setting boundaries

• Feeling like an imposter despite your competence

These experiences are not character flaws. They are adaptations—ways your mind and body learned to survive in a world that often undervalued your existence.

The Emotional Cost of Always Striving

Living with chronic pressure to achieve can lead to deep emotional depletion. Over time, this pattern can impact self-esteem, relationships, and overall health.

• Self-esteem: Your sense of worth becomes conditional on what you accomplish rather than who you are. This makes it difficult to rest or experience joy.

• Relationships: If you have learned that love is earned through success, connection may feel transactional. You might hide vulnerability or struggle to accept help.

• Body and mind: Constant striving keeps the nervous system in a state of alertness. Fatigue, anxiety, insomnia, and even physical pain can follow.

Without intervention, achievement fatigue can lead to burnout, depression, or a feeling of emptiness that no level of success can fill.

Healing Achievement Fatigue

Healing begins with awareness and compassion. Therapy provides a space to examine not only your thoughts and behaviors, but also the cultural and generational messages that shaped them. In my work with first-generation professionals and individuals healing from complex trauma, I help clients move from performance-based worthiness to intrinsic self-acceptance.

1. Reclaim Your Story

Reflect on where your drive to achieve originated. What did success mean in your family or community? Understanding this context allows you to honor the resilience that helped you survive while choosing new ways of being.

2. Challenge Internalized Oppression

Notice how racism and systemic inequality have shaped your beliefs about what you must do to “deserve” success. Healing means unlearning the idea that you must overperform to prove your worth.

3. Redefine Rest

Rest is not laziness; it is recovery. For BIPOC and first-generation professionals, rest can be a radical act of resistance. It allows your body and spirit to reset and reclaim balance.

4. Build Communities of Care

Healing from achievement fatigue is not meant to be done alone. Seek spaces where you can be authentic, imperfect, and affirmed—whether that is therapy, community groups, or relationships grounded in honesty and mutual support.

5. Integrate Mind and Body

Because trauma lives in the body, somatic awareness is key. Grounding, breathing, and mindfulness practices can help you notice when you are in overdrive and invite regulation before exhaustion sets in.

A Trauma-Informed Perspective on Worthiness

As a trauma therapist in New York City, I believe that healing perfectionism and overachievement is not just about changing behavior—it is about transforming the beliefs that drive them. Many of my clients find that when they begin to see their patterns through a trauma-informed lens, shame softens.

Instead of judging themselves for feeling tired or “never enough,” they begin to understand that these patterns once kept them safe. The work of therapy is not to erase that part of you but to offer it compassion and teach it that you are safe now, even when you rest or slow down.

Dialectical Statements

Dialectics help us hold multiple truths at once—something essential in healing achievement fatigue.

• I can honor my family’s sacrifices and create a life that is not built on overwork.

• I can feel proud of my achievements and still choose to slow down.

• I can strive for excellence and know that my worth is not conditional.

• I can love the parts of me that want to achieve and also nurture the parts that want peace.

Affirmations for Healing and Worthiness

• My value is not measured by my productivity.

• Rest is a form of resistance and recovery.

• I am allowed to take up space without proving my worth.

• My ancestors’ resilience lives in me, and I honor them by healing.

• I can be successful and still choose softness, rest, and joy.

• I am already enough.

If you are a first-generation or BIPOC professional struggling with burnout, imposter phenomenon, or perfectionism, therapy can help you reconnect to your worth beyond performance.

I offer trauma-informed, culturally responsive therapy in New York City that honors the intersections of identity, resilience, and healing. You can reach out for a free 15-minute consultation at ashleyrodriguezphd@gmail.com.

Remembering What We Carried: Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day

Today, October 15, marks Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, a day to hold space for grief, love, and remembrance for babies who were carried but not held long enough. It is a time to acknowledge the profound heartbreak of miscarriage, stillbirth, and infant loss, and to honor the parents and families who carry these memories quietly every day.

For many, this day is both validating and painful. It may bring comfort to know that others understand, while also reopening tender wounds. Whether your loss happened recently or many years ago, you deserve space to grieve and remember.

How Common Pregnancy and Infant Loss Really Are

Pregnancy and infant loss are far more common than most people realize, but the silence surrounding them often makes grieving parents feel isolated.

• According to the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG), approximately 10 to 20 percent of known pregnancies end in miscarriage (ACOG, 2023).

• The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) reports that about 1 in 175 pregnancies in the United States ends in stillbirth, meaning the loss of a baby at or after 20 weeks of pregnancy (CDC, 2023).

• The March of Dimes estimates that about 19,500 babies die before reaching their first birthday each year in the U.S., representing an infant mortality rate of approximately 5.4 deaths per 1,000 live births (March of Dimes, 2023).

These statistics are more than numbers. Each represents a story, a heartbeat, a family navigating the complex terrain of loss. By speaking these truths, we help break the silence that often surrounds this kind of grief.

Common Emotional Responses to Loss

If you have experienced pregnancy or infant loss, your emotions may be complex and ever-changing. There is no “right” way to grieve.

Grief and sadness: Profound sorrow is natural. You may find yourself mourning the baby you never got to meet or the future you had imagined.

Fear in subsequent pregnancies: It is common to experience heightened anxiety after a loss. You may find yourself worrying constantly or feeling detached from joy in an attempt to protect yourself from potential heartbreak.

Anger and rage: Anger can emerge toward your body, your circumstances, or even those around you. Rage is often a normal part of the grief process, especially when loss feels senseless.

Blame and guilt: Many people wonder if they could have done something differently. Self-blame is a common but misplaced response to trauma and loss. The truth is that most pregnancy and infant losses are not caused by anything the parent did or did not do (CDC, 2023).

Each of these reactions is a valid expression of grief. You are not alone, and your emotions make sense in the context of loss.

How Loss Impacts Beliefs About Self, Others, and the World

Pregnancy and infant loss can shake one’s foundational beliefs.

• Beliefs about self: You may feel your body failed you or that you are no longer the same person you were before the loss. Shame and disconnection from your body are common responses.

• Beliefs about others: It can feel difficult to relate to friends or family members, especially those who have not experienced similar loss. Some parents report feeling unseen or isolated within their own support systems.

• Beliefs about the world: Grief can make the world feel unsafe or unpredictable. The innocence of early pregnancy or new parenthood may feel irretrievably lost.

These changes in worldview reflect the profound disruption trauma brings. Healing involves rebuilding a sense of safety, trust, and meaning.

Impact of Loss on Relationships and Parenting

Grief after pregnancy or infant loss affects relationships in many ways. Partners may grieve differently, which can create tension or distance. One partner may want to talk while the other prefers to stay quiet. Both ways of coping are valid.

For those who become parents again after loss, fear often travels with them. Many describe the next pregnancy as both hopeful and terrifying. Others struggle to bond with their newborn, fearing that attachment might lead to more pain.

Parents who already have living children may also carry guilt about dividing attention or feeling joy again. These are natural and human responses to trauma. Compassion and open communication can help couples and families move through this together.

Ways to Remember and Honor Your Baby

Rituals can bring comfort, connection, and a sense of continuity between love and memory. There is no single right way to remember your baby, only what feels meaningful to you.

1. Light a candle at 7 p.m.
   Join the International Wave of Light on October 15 by lighting a candle to honor your baby and all babies gone too soon.

2. Create a memory box.
   Include ultrasound images, notes, photos, or small keepsakes that connect you to your baby’s life.

3. Plant something living.
   A tree, flower, or garden can serve as a living symbol of remembrance. Watching it grow may bring a sense of peace and continuity.

4. Write letters to your baby.
   Express what you wish you could say. Writing can transform unspoken grief into acknowledgment and love.

5. Participate in a remembrance event.
   Many hospitals and community organizations host virtual or in-person ceremonies for Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day.

6. Create art or music.
   Painting, poetry, or song can give voice to emotions that words cannot fully capture.

These rituals allow love to have a place to go. Grieving does not mean forgetting. It means finding ways to carry love forward.

Affirmations for Grief and Healing

Affirmations can serve as small lights on the path of grief, helping to counter the isolation and self-blame that loss can bring.

• My grief is real, and it deserves space.

• I did nothing to cause this loss.

• My baby’s life, no matter how brief, has meaning.

• I can hold sadness and hope at the same time.

• Healing does not mean forgetting.

• I am allowed to love, to remember, and to keep going.

• I carry my baby with me in memory and in heart.

Closing Thoughts

Pregnancy and infant loss are among the deepest human sorrows. If you are grieving today, please know that your pain is valid, your story matters, and you do not have to walk this path alone.

As a trauma-informed psychologist specializing in perinatal mental health, I support individuals and families navigating pregnancy loss, infant loss, and the emotional complexities of parenting after loss. Therapy can provide a compassionate space to process grief, reconnect with your body, and find meaning in the midst of heartbreak.

📞 To schedule a free 15-minute consultation, email me at ashleyrodriguezphd@gmail.com. You deserve care that honors both your grief and your resilience.

Sources:

• Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (2023). Stillbirth and Pregnancy Loss Statistics. cdc.gov

• American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (2023). Early Pregnancy Loss: Practice Bulletin. acog.org

• March of Dimes (2023). Infant Mortality and Loss Statistics. marchofdimes.org

What is trauma therapy? A compassionate guide to healing

If you have ever asked yourself, “Why do I react this way?” or “Why do I feel stuck even when I want to move forward?” you are not alone. Many people carry experiences of trauma that shape how they think, feel, and relate to others, often without realizing how deeply those experiences are connected to the present. Trauma therapy provides a safe space to explore those connections, to begin understanding the impact of the past, and to build new pathways for healing.

What is a trauma therapist?

A trauma therapist is a mental health professional who is trained to understand how trauma impacts the brain, body, and relationships. Instead of asking, “What is wrong with this person?” a trauma therapist shifts the question to “What happened to this person?” This perspective comes from the Sanctuary Model, which emphasizes compassion and curiosity instead of judgment. Trauma is not a personal flaw. It is a response to overwhelming experiences that were too much, too soon, or too often.

When you ask, “What is trauma therapy?” the answer is not one-size-fits-all. Trauma therapy can look different depending on the type of trauma experienced, the person’s goals, and the therapeutic approach. At its core, trauma therapy is trauma informed—which means it recognizes the widespread impact of trauma, understands paths for recovery, and prioritizes safety, empowerment, and collaboration.

Acute trauma vs. complex trauma

One important distinction in trauma therapy is between acute trauma and complex trauma.

• Acute trauma usually refers to a single, overwhelming event such as a car accident, natural disaster, or sudden loss. These experiences can leave someone feeling shaken, fearful, or hypervigilant, but healing often begins by processing that single event.

• Complex trauma, on the other hand, develops from repeated or chronic exposure to difficult experiences, often in childhood. This can include abuse, neglect, community violence, or growing up in a family system impacted by intergenerational trauma. Complex trauma can shape not just how someone feels in the moment, but also their entire sense of self and how they see the world.

In my practice, I specialize in working with individuals who carry complex trauma and intergenerational trauma. These are the kinds of wounds that are woven into identity and relationships over time, and they often require a compassionate, relational approach to begin untangling.

How trauma impacts core beliefs

Trauma can deeply alter the beliefs we hold about ourselves, others, and the world:

• Beliefs about self: Trauma may create feelings of shame, worthlessness, or being “broken.” Survivors often blame themselves for what happened, even when it was outside of their control.

• Beliefs about others: When trust has been violated, it can be hard to feel safe in relationships. Some people become hyper-independent, believing they can only rely on themselves. Others may feel overly dependent, fearing abandonment at every turn.

• Beliefs about the world: Trauma can shift someone’s worldview, making the world feel unsafe, unpredictable, or hostile. Everyday stressors can feel overwhelming because they echo earlier experiences of threat.

These shifts in beliefs are not weaknesses. They are survival adaptations. Trauma therapy helps identify these patterns, gently challenge them, and build new beliefs that reflect both truth and hope.

How trauma impacts relationships

Relationships are often where trauma is felt most acutely. Someone who has experienced trauma may find it difficult to trust, may expect rejection, or may feel triggered by closeness. Arguments with a partner, misunderstandings with friends, or even distance from family can feel more charged because they stir up old wounds.

In therapy, I often explore how clients’ current relational patterns connect back to earlier experiences. Together, we identify cycles that no longer serve them and begin to create new ways of relating that feel safer and more authentic.

How trauma impacts parenting

Trauma also affects parenting. Parents who carry unhealed trauma may feel triggered by their child’s behavior, experience overwhelming guilt, or fear repeating harmful cycles. Sometimes this shows up as being overly strict, overly permissive, or emotionally withdrawn.

In my work, I have supported many parents in understanding how their own childhood experiences influence the way they show up for their children. With support, parents can begin to rewrite those patterns and create new legacies.

My training in Child-Parent Psychotherapy (CPP) has been especially meaningful here. CPP is an evidence-based treatment for young children and their caregivers who have experienced trauma. It emphasizes strengthening the parent-child relationship as the pathway to healing.

My experience working in child welfare

Before focusing on private practice, I worked in the child welfare system, including foster care, adoption, and prevention programs. That experience shaped my understanding of how trauma is not just individual, but systemic. Children living between foster and biological families often carried confusion, grief, and loyalty conflicts. Parents in the system were often navigating their own trauma histories while trying to care for their children under stressful, highly monitored conditions.

These experiences taught me that healing requires holding compassion for every layer of the story. It also reinforced why I am committed to working with individuals and families who are breaking cycles of intergenerational trauma.

What is trauma informed therapy?

Being trauma informed means creating a therapeutic space that prioritizes:

• Safety: Clients feel emotionally and physically safe.

• Trust and transparency: Clear boundaries and consistent care.

• Collaboration: The therapist and client work together, not in a top-down dynamic.

• Empowerment: Clients are supported in reclaiming their voice and agency.

• Cultural humility: Recognizing how systemic oppression and cultural identity shape experiences of trauma.

These principles guide my work as a trauma therapist in New York.

Affirmations for the healing journey

Affirmations can be powerful reminders that healing is not about perfection, but about compassion and growth. Here are some that may resonate with anyone navigating complex or intergenerational trauma:

• I am not defined by what happened to me.

• My story is worthy of being heard.

• I can carry both my pain and my resilience.

• It is safe to begin imagining a new way forward.

• I can break cycles without carrying shame.

• My relationships can be different from what I experienced.

• Healing is not linear, and that is okay.

These affirmations can help anchor you in moments of self-doubt or overwhelm, reminding you that the process of trauma therapy is about reclaiming your power and honoring your humanity.

Final thoughts: Healing is possible

Trauma therapy is not about erasing the past. It is about building a new relationship to it. By asking “What happened to you?” instead of “What is wrong with you?” we open the door to compassion and healing.

If you are living with complex trauma or intergenerational trauma, know that your story makes sense. Healing is possible. And you do not have to do it alone.

✨ I offer trauma-informed, culturally responsive therapy for individuals navigating complex and intergenerational trauma. My background in child welfare and CPP allows me to hold both individual stories and family systems with care.

📞 To learn more, you can email me at ashleyrodriguezphd@gmail.com to schedule a free 15-minute consultation.

Sometimes Love Isn’t Enough: Reflections on Parenting, Trauma, and Healing

I recently had the opportunity to be interviewed on the Sometimes Love Isn’t Enough: Parenting Through Challenges podcast with host Angie Grandt. The conversation was such a meaningful space to share my story, my journey as a Latina psychologist in NYC, and the work I now do with parents, families, and cycle-breakers who are trying to rewrite their stories.

In this blog, I want to reflect on some of the key themes we discussed: how my background shaped my career, what I’ve learned from working with children and families, and why intergenerational healing and community matter so deeply for Latinx mental health.

From Children to Parents: Shifting the Focus

I grew up watching my mother, who was a correctional counselor at Rikers Island, lead substance abuse groups and dedicate herself to her clients. I often saw her former clients approach her in our neighborhood, excited to share their progress. From a young age, I knew I wanted to make that kind of difference.

I initially trained in child psychology and worked closely with children in foster care. But what I discovered in that work was profound: if I wanted to make the biggest impact, I needed to focus on parents. Supporting parents meant not only helping them navigate their own histories but also transforming how they showed up for their children. That shift eventually led me to specialize in perinatal mental health and begin my private practice, where I now support families during pregnancy, postpartum, and other major life transitions.

Nested Mentalization: Holding Space Across Generations

One of the most powerful frameworks I learned early in my career was nested mentalization: the idea that when a therapist holds space for a parent, that parent is better able to hold space for their child. And the child, in turn, learns to hold their inner world more compassionately.

I witnessed this firsthand with families in foster care. When parents felt seen and understood in therapy, they often reflected that same understanding back to their children. The ripple effect was tangible. It reminded me of something I carry into all of my work now: love is necessary, but without support, reflection, and repair, love alone isn’t always enough.

Family Lineage and the Roots of My Work

During training, I was asked to complete a genogram — a family tree that maps relationships and patterns. That exercise helped me realize that my interest in complex trauma wasn’t just academic. It was rooted in my own family story.

My family came from Puerto Rico to New York under difficult circumstances. My grandmother became a widow at a young age, moved her children to the mainland for support, and carried the weight of tremendous hardship. Violence, substance abuse, and unhealed trauma were part of my family’s reality.

Looking back, I understand that my fascination with lineage work, especially maternal lineage, is tied to these histories. The women in my family carried so much, often without being held themselves. That realization deepened my commitment to breaking cycles and to helping others do the same.

Intergenerational Trauma and Systemic Realities

In the episode, we explored how trauma doesn’t just live in individuals. It is carried through families, systems, and even in our bodies. For communities of color, much of what is passed down isn’t spoken but is still felt.

I shared how liberation psychology helps me frame this work. It asks us to consider not just individual struggles but the historical and systemic forces shaping our lives. Oppression, racism, and colonization don’t just disappear. They echo through family systems, shaping parenting, identity, and belonging.

At the same time, I find it empowering to remember that resilience is also inherited. Our ancestors passed down survival strategies and strengths that carried them through impossible circumstances. Sometimes those strategies need reshaping in the present, but they are evidence of profound resilience.

Parenting in the In-Between

We also spoke about the complexity of parenting in foster care and beyond. Children often find themselves living between two families — navigating love, loyalty, and conflicting messages. Parents, foster parents, and children all carry unique grief in those dynamics.

In my own practice, I often work with parents who say, “I don’t want to repeat the cycle, but I don’t know what the alternative looks like.” That is some of my favorite work: supporting parents in imagining and building a new family culture when they’ve never had it modeled for them. It is hard, vulnerable work. But it is also deeply transformative.

Breaking Cycles Without Shame

One of the points I tried to emphasize is that parenting is filled with shame — society is quick to blame parents when something goes wrong. My approach is grounded in dialectical thinking: you are doing the best you can, and you can also do better. Both are true.

This mindset helps take the weight of judgment off parents’ shoulders while still encouraging growth. It invites curiosity about family patterns, rather than criticism. Tools like genograms can help parents see where behaviors came from and make intentional choices about what to carry forward and what to leave behind.

The Importance of Community and Connection

Finally, we talked about the role of community. Parenting, especially as a cycle-breaker or first-generation adult, can feel profoundly isolating. Many of my clients cannot turn to their families for support because they are doing things differently than previous generations.

Finding community, mentors, and role models is vital. And just as importantly, remembering that role models are human too. Parenting requires a village, and building that village intentionally can make all the difference.

Closing Reflections

Recording this episode reminded me why I love this work. Parenting, healing, and cycle-breaking are not easy. Sometimes love isn’t enough. But with reflection, repair, community, and support, families can create new legacies.

If you would like to listen to the full conversation, you can find it here:
🎧 Sometimes Love Isn’t Enough: Parenting Through Challenges Podcast

And if you live in New York and are navigating parenting, foster care/adoption, perinatal transitions, or breaking cycles in your own family, I would be honored to walk alongside you. You can schedule a free 15-minute consultation by emailing me at ashleyrodriguezphd@gmail.com.

✨ Affirmation to carry forward: I am doing the best I can, and I can also grow into more.

Finding My Voice in Two Languages: A Latina Psychologist’s Journey with Spanish and Latinx Mental Health

Growing up in a bilingual household meant that Spanish was always part of my environment, but holding onto it was not always easy. Over time English took up more and more space until my Spanish began to fade. It became common for me to respond to my caregivers in English and rely on a lot of nonverbal communication to get my point across. I understood much of Spanish but felt clumsy when speaking, and I was often criticized when I made mistakes. Those moments added layers of shame to my relationship with the language and made me even more hesitant to use it.

As I became a psychology trainee, I avoided using Spanish clinically. Even though I was proud of my roots and wanted to support Latinx clients, I was fearful of being made fun of and of being ineffective because of my complicated relationship with Spanish. For a long time, that fear kept me from offering therapy in Spanish at all.

Everything shifted during my final externship. My assigned caseload was mostly Spanish speaking. Sometimes the identified patient was Spanish speaking, and other times it was the parent of the patient who was Spanish speaking. I found it especially interesting to work with families where each member had a different level of fluency. In many ways, those dynamics mirrored my own experiences growing up in a bilingual household. It reminded me that language is not just about words. It is about identity, belonging, and the challenges of moving between cultures.

Learning Through Guilt and Growth as a Latina Psychologist

During that externship year, I often carried guilt. Whenever I paused to search for the right word or struggled to explain something, I worried that my clients would feel I was failing them. At the same time, those moments pushed me to grow in ways I never would have chosen on my own. I learned that therapy is not about perfect grammar or polished delivery. It is about presence, empathy, and creating a safe space where clients feel seen. My clients cared far more about feeling understood than about whether I conjugated every verb correctly.

Even now, as a Latina therapist in NYC, I sometimes hesitate to use Spanish professionally. The worry still shows up: Am I fluent enough? Will I be judged for not speaking “perfect” Spanish? Yet experience continues to show me that connection matters more than perfection.

Latinx Mental Health and the “No Sabo” Stigma

Many Latinx individuals carry similar experiences. Some grew up hearing Spanish at home but not speaking it. Others were encouraged to focus on English for school or work and gradually lost their Spanish. Too often, our community shames these individuals, calling them “no sabo kids” and questioning whether they are “Latino enough.”

This judgment can cut deep. Language is a powerful cultural marker, but it is not the only one. Our identities are rooted in ancestry, traditions, values, and lived experience. You do not stop being Latino because of the language you speak. You are enough exactly as you are.

It is also important to remember that Spanish itself was forced on our people through colonization. For many Indigenous and Afro-descendant communities in Latin America, Spanish replaced native languages that held ancestral wisdom. Holding Spanish imperfectly or losing parts of it does not make you less Latino. It reminds us of the complex history that shaped our communities.

Holding Two Worlds at Once as a Bicultural Therapist

As a bicultural therapist in NYC, I hold these tensions with care. I know the ache of feeling like you should be more fluent, more connected, or more authentic. I also know the resilience it takes to navigate two worlds and create an identity that honors both.

For Latinx mental health, these experiences matter. Clients often bring in feelings of not being “enough” in their families, their workplaces, or their cultural communities. Therapy becomes a place where we can name those feelings, challenge the shame, and build a sense of belonging that is not tied to meeting impossible standards.

Affirmations for the Bicultural Journey

I am Latina enough exactly as I am.
My identity is not defined by the language I speak.
Connection matters more than perfection.
I carry my ancestors with me in every language.

Final Reflections

My journey with Spanish has been imperfect, and that is okay. It continues to shape how I show up as a psychologist of color in NYC. I am proud to offer therapy that is culturally responsive and trauma informed, whether in English or Spanish. I know that what truly heals is presence, compassion, and honoring the full humanity of every client.

For anyone navigating similar struggles, I want to say this: you are not alone. Whether you are fluent, relearning, or hesitant to use Spanish at all, you are still part of the Latinx community. You are still worthy of love, belonging, and healing.

✨ If you are seeking support with life transitions, bicultural identity, or perinatal mental health, I would be honored to walk with you. As a Latina psychologist in NYC, I offer therapy that is grounded in cultural humility and compassion.

📞 You can reach me at ashleyrodriguezphd@gmail.com to schedule a free 15-minute consultation.

Making Space for All Your Feelings in a Transition

During a life transition, you may expect to feel only the “right” emotions. In reality, transitions are often messy and full of contradictions.

You can feel joy and sadness, relief and fear, confidence and uncertainty at the same time. These emotions do not cancel each other out. They are part of the human experience.

Why Mixed Emotions Are Normal

For first generation adults and BIPOC professionals, transitions often bring layered emotions. You may feel proud of breaking new ground while also wishing you had more guidance. You may celebrate your achievements while secretly feeling guilty about outgrowing certain roles or expectations.

For new or expecting parents, transitions often hold both joy and grief. You may feel love for your baby while grieving the independence or identity you once had. These emotions are normal and do not mean anything is wrong. They are signs of growth and change.

How Complex Feelings Show Up

You might notice:
• Feeling proud of yourself and wishing things could stay the same
• Wanting to move forward but resisting the change
• Struggling to explain your emotions to others

When you allow space for these feelings, you give yourself the compassion needed to navigate the change.

Strategies to Make Space for Every Feeling

• Journal without judgment. Let your words flow without editing or self criticism.
• Share openly with someone who can listen. Choose a person who will hold space without trying to fix you.
• Name your emotions in the moment. Simply saying “This is sadness” or “This is relief” can bring clarity and validation.

Affirmations for Emotional Acceptance

Every emotion I feel is a valid part of my transition process.
I am allowed to be complex and layered in my feelings.
My emotions deserve acknowledgment, not dismissal.

A Helpful Dialectical Statement

“I can be both confident and scared, both ready and unready.”

Holding two truths at once makes space for compassion. It means you do not have to choose only one feeling to be valid.

Therapy Can Support You Through the Full Range of Emotions

If you live in New York and are navigating a big life change, you do not have to figure it out alone. Therapy can give you a supportive space to honor all your feelings without judgment and to build tools for moving through transitions with compassion.

I offer trauma informed, culturally responsive therapy for first generation adults, BIPOC professionals, and new or expecting parents. Together, we can create room for every emotion that comes with change.

📞 Schedule a free 15 minute phone consultation today by emailing me at ashleyrodriguezphd@gmail.com to see if we are a good fit.

When Worry Takes the Driver’s Seat During a Big Life Change

When you are in the middle of a major life change, worry can feel like it is running the show. You might think through every possible outcome, imagining how things could go wrong.

Some worry is protective. It helps you plan, prepare, and make thoughtful choices. But too much worry can keep you from moving forward.

How Worry Shows Up During Transitions

Worry can look and feel different depending on your life stage and context.

For first generation adults and BIPOC professionals, worry often shows up as pressure to not make mistakes or as a fear of letting others down. For new or expecting parents, worry may sound like, “Will I be a good parent? What if something goes wrong?” These thoughts are common and do not mean you are failing.

You might notice:
• Going over the same “what if” scenarios
• Having trouble sleeping because your mind will not turn off
• Feeling tense in your body from constant mental rehearsal

This is your nervous system working overtime. You do not need to eliminate all worry, but you can learn how to give it a smaller role.

Ways to Keep Worry in Check

• Limit problem solving time. Set aside a specific time each day for practical planning, then let yourself step back.
• Use grounding techniques. Simple practices like deep breathing, noticing your surroundings, or placing your feet firmly on the ground can return you to the present.
• Sort through your worries. Ask yourself which concerns are worth action and which ones are simply noise.

Affirmations for Calming Worry

I can prepare for challenges without letting fear control my decisions.
Worry does not get to decide the direction of my life.
I can return to the present moment when I choose.

A Helpful Dialectical Statement

“I want to be prepared, and I cannot predict or control everything.”

This statement allows both truths to exist together. Preparation matters, and so does acceptance of what cannot be controlled.

Therapy Can Help You Find Balance

If you live in New York and are navigating a big life change, you do not have to figure it out alone. Therapy can provide a space to explore your worries, understand how they connect to your story, and learn new tools for balance.

I offer trauma informed, culturally responsive therapy for first generation adults, BIPOC professionals, and new or expecting parents. Together, we can help worry move into the passenger seat, so it no longer drives your decisions.

📞 Schedule a free 15 minute phone consultation today by emailing me at ashleyrodriguezphd@gmail.com to see if we are a good fit.

Why Self Doubt Often Shows Up When You Are Growing

When you are navigating a life transition, whether stepping into parenthood, starting a new career, or redefining your identity, self doubt often shows up uninvited. Many people think doubt means they are unprepared or incapable. In reality, doubt is a natural response to change.

Your mind is wired to seek safety, so it sends warning signals when you move into unknown territory. This is not a flaw. It is your brain trying to protect you.

Why Self Doubt is Normal in Life Transitions

For first generation adults and BIPOC professionals, self doubt is often shaped by cultural expectations and the pressure to succeed without a clear roadmap. You may have been the first in your family to graduate, start a career, or hold a leadership role, which can make every new step feel uncertain.

For new and expecting parents, self doubt may sound like, “Am I doing this right? Am I good enough to care for this baby?” These questions are common and do not mean you are failing. They reflect the weight of stepping into one of the most important transitions of your life.

Self doubt is not proof that you cannot succeed. It is evidence that you are stretching into something meaningful.

How Self Doubt Shows Up

You might notice:
• Wondering if you are truly ready for this next step
• Comparing yourself to others and feeling behind
• A fear of making mistakes or failing

If these thoughts sound familiar, know that you are not alone. Many clients I work with in therapy share these same worries when moving into new chapters.

Strategies to Move Through Self Doubt

The goal is not to silence doubt completely but to learn how to keep moving even when it shows up. Here are some tools that can help:

• Notice the voice of doubt without letting it control you. Naming it as “doubt” creates distance.
• Ground yourself in the present. Ask, “What do I know to be true right now?” rather than getting lost in what fear predicts.
• Remember your track record. Reflect on past times you succeeded despite uncertainty. Evidence of your resilience is already there.

Affirmations to Carry With You

I can feel unsure and still move forward.
Doubt means I am stepping into something meaningful.
My readiness is not defined by my fear.

A Helpful Dialectical Statement

“I can feel unsure and still trust myself to take the next step.”

This statement allows two truths to exist together: uncertainty and courage. Holding both makes space for compassion and forward movement.

Therapy Can Help You Feel Less Alone

If you live in New York and are navigating a big life change, you do not have to figure it out alone. Therapy can provide a supportive space to explore self doubt, understand where it comes from, and learn how to move through it with confidence and clarity.

I offer trauma informed, culturally responsive therapy for first generation adults, BIPOC professionals, and new or expecting parents. Together, we can explore the stories that shape your self doubt and build new ways of approaching growth.

📞 Schedule a free 15 minute phone consultation today by emailing me at ashleyrodriguezphd@gmail.com to see if we are a good fit.

Guesting on Multicultural Family Hub: A Conversation About Life, Healing, and Perinatal Journeys

I recently had the privilege of being a guest on the Multicultural Family Hub podcast, and it was an experience I will carry with me for a long time. The conversation felt meaningful and energizing, and I left deeply grateful for the chance to share the heart of my work. We talked about the themes that matter most in my practice: life transitions, first generation mental health, and perinatal mental health.

The hosts created space that felt affirming and thoughtful, which made it easy to open up about the stories I see unfold in my work and the values that guide my approach.

Highlights from Our Conversation

1. Self Validation as a Radical Act

We explored how first generation and multicultural individuals often grow up learning to rely on external approval. Self validation, the ability to tell yourself, “Yes, I see you, I am enough,” can feel radical when you have been conditioned to minimize your needs. It is a powerful practice that helps people stand on steady ground when the world does not always mirror back their worth.

Affirmation: I am enough as I am, without needing anyone else’s approval.
Dialectical Statement: I can long for validation from others and still learn to validate myself.

2. Mapping the Stories We Inherit

I shared how creating a family tree or genogram can help people see the values, coping strategies, and beliefs passed down through generations. Some of these stories carry wisdom and resilience, while others may no longer serve. Noticing what you have inherited is the first step in deciding what you want to continue and what you want to change.

Affirmation: I have the power to choose which stories I carry forward.
Dialectical Statement: I can honor my family’s sacrifices and also release the patterns that do not serve me.

3. Embracing the Gray During Transitions

Whether it is becoming a parent, moving through a career shift, or navigating an identity change, transitions are rarely simple. They often hold both joy and grief, hope and uncertainty. Sitting with the gray, instead of forcing ourselves to choose between positive and negative, can create compassion and honesty during change.

Affirmation: My mixed emotions are valid and welcome in my healing process.
Dialectical Statement: I can feel both excited and scared about what comes next.

4. Naming the Undigested Feelings

Many people carry emotions that feel tangled or contradictory. You might feel gratitude mixed with guilt, or relief layered with sadness. On the podcast, I shared how important it is to name these undigested feelings without judgment. Naming makes space for processing, and processing creates clarity.

Affirmation: All of my emotions deserve to be acknowledged.
Dialectical Statement: I can feel thankful for what I have and still grieve what I have lost.

5. Reconnecting With Your Parenting Why

I encouraged listeners to reflect on their “why” in parenting. Getting clear on your values can help you feel steadier when parenting feels overwhelming. It is not about following anyone else’s script, but about anchoring in what matters to you and your family.

Affirmation: My parenting choices can reflect my values, not just my fears.
Dialectical Statement: I can feel uncertain about parenting and still stay grounded in my values.

What This Experience Meant to Me

Being part of this conversation was meaningful because it allowed me to bring my professional expertise together with my personal values. As a first generation Latina and as a psychologist, I know how important it is to have spaces where we can talk openly about identity, transition, and healing. Sharing that with the Multicultural Family Hub audience felt like a gift.

It reminded me of why I do this work: to help people feel less alone in the hardest parts of change, and to remind them that healing is possible even when the path feels complicated.

🎧 Want to hear the full conversation?

You can listen to my episode of the Multicultural Family Hub podcast here: Listen to Episode 26.

A Warm Invitation

If you are navigating a life transition, stepping into parenthood, or working through the complexities of being first generation, you do not have to figure it out by yourself. Therapy can be a space to slow down, to sort through the mix of emotions, and to build tools that support healing.

If you live in New York and are curious about working together, I invite you to schedule a free 15 minute phone consultation. It is a chance to connect, ask questions, and see if we are a good fit for this part of your journey. Email me at ashleyrodriguezphd@gmail.com to find a time to speak.

✨ Affirmation to Carry With You: I can feel uncertain about change and still trust myself to move forward.

The Healing Parent: Why Your Wellness Is Your Child’s Superpower

If you have ever worried you are not doing enough for your child or that you might be “messing up,” you are not alone. These worries are especially common in pregnancy and the postpartum period.

The truth is that your wellness is one of the greatest gifts you can give your child. When you tend to your own mental and emotional health, you are not taking away from your child. You are giving them something invaluable: a regulated, present, and loving guide through life.

Kids Feel What You Don’t Say

Even if you try to hide it, children sense stress, sadness, or disconnection. They read your energy before they understand your words. When you work on your healing, you are not just helping yourself. You are creating an emotional climate where your child feels safe to grow.

Affirmation: My healing creates a safe and steady foundation for my child.
Dialectical statement: I can hold my struggles and still be a loving, capable parent.

Your Boundaries Become Their Blueprint

Children learn how to protect their peace by watching you protect yours. Each time you say “no” with love, you show them that it is okay to honor their needs without guilt.

Affirmation: My boundaries teach my child that they can value themselves too.
Dialectical statement: I can care for others and also care for myself.

Modeling Recovery Matters

Healing is not only something you talk about. It is something you live. When you pause to regulate your body, ask for help, or celebrate rest, your child learns that caring for their well being is strength, not weakness.

Affirmation: Taking care of myself is a powerful lesson I pass on to my child.
Dialectical statement: I can struggle and still model resilience.

Healing Expands Your Patience

It is hard to stay grounded when your cup is empty. Meeting your own needs allows you to meet your child’s needs with more patience and compassion, especially during their big feelings.

Affirmation: The more I care for myself, the more present I can be with my child.
Dialectical statement: I can feel I can feel stretched thin and still offer my child warmth and care.

You Show Them They Are Worth It

When you invest in yourself, you show your child that they are worthy of the same care. Your healing becomes their mirror, reflecting their value back to them.

Affirmation: My self care reflects my child’s worth.
Dialectical statement: I can invest in myself and invest in my child at the same time.

You cannot control every challenge your child will face, but you can shape the foundation they stand on. And the strongest foundation is built on your healing.

Are you an expectant or new parent in New York who wants to nurture your own wellness while caring for your child?

Schedule a consultation today to explore how perinatal therapy can help you heal, regulate, and grow alongside your little one. Email me at ashleyrodriguezphd@gmail.com.

The Grief We Don’t Talk About During Life Changes

When we think about life transitions such as starting a new job, becoming a parent, or moving to a new place, we often picture excitement, fresh possibilities, and a sense of moving forward.

What is less often discussed is that every new chapter also means leaving something behind. Leaving things behind, even when it is by choice, can bring grief.

Why Grief Shows Up in “Good” Changes

Grief is not reserved for the loss of people. We grieve roles, routines, places, versions of ourselves, and relationships to our old life.
Even a long awaited positive change can stir sadness because a part of you is saying goodbye to what was.

For example:
• The parent who is thrilled to welcome their first child and quietly misses the freedom they once had.
• The first generation graduate who is proud of their new career and feels the distance growing between themselves and their family’s experiences.
• The person who moves to a new city for a dream job and still aches for the familiarity of home.

The Emotional Mix Is Normal

It is normal to feel both joy and sadness, excitement and fear, gratitude and longing at the same time. These are not contradictions. They are a sign you are human.

When you are navigating a big shift, you might notice:
• Waves of nostalgia for your old life
• Unexpected tears that do not seem to match the occasion
• A quiet sense of loss that others might not understand

This does not mean you are ungrateful or making the wrong choice. It means you are feeling the full truth of the change.

How to Honor the Grief in a Transition

• Name it. Say to yourself, “I am grieving this part of my life,” and give it legitimacy.
• Make space for memories. Look at old photos, write in a journal, or create a ritual to mark the transition.
• Give yourself grace. Change is a lot for your nervous system. Rest, slow down, and accept that feelings will ebb and flow.

Affirmations for Navigating This Grief

I can hold gratitude for what is ahead and grief for what I have left behind at the same time.
I am allowed to miss the past while embracing my future.
My feelings do not have to be neat or tidy to be valid.

A Helpful Dialectical Statement

“I am excited for this new chapter, and I am allowed to mourn the old one.”

Holding both truths creates space for compassion toward yourself. You do not have to rush to get over the past to be ready for what is next.

If you live in New York and are navigating a big life change, you do not have to figure it out alone.
I offer trauma informed, culturally responsive therapy to support you through transitions.
📞 Schedule a free 15 minute phone consultation today by emailing me at ashleyrodriguezphd@gmail.com to see if we are a good fit.

When Parenting Awakens Your Past: Reflections on the Healing Heridas Podcast

I was recently invited to speak on the Healing Heridas podcast to explore conscious parenting and breaking generational cycles in Latinx families.

🎧 Listen to the episode here

As I reflected on my journey during the episode, I felt deep gratitude for the families I’ve had the privilege to support in my clinical work. My experience in child welfare, pediatric settings, and perinatal mental health has shown me how deeply parenting can awaken emotional patterns, especially for those trying to raise differently than they were raised.

If Parenting Has Stirred Old Feelings, You’re Not Alone

You might find that moments of parenting unexpectedly open emotional wounds.
This doesn’t mean something is wrong.
It means something in you is rising up to be witnessed, understood, and healed.

Therapy offers a space to do just that with gentleness, cultural awareness, and care.

Therapy Support for New York Parents

If you're a parent in New York and something in this conversation resonates with you, I’d love to offer support. Together, we can explore how your past is showing up in your parenting—and how to meet it with clarity and compassion.

👉 Schedule a free 15-minute consultation. Email me at ashleyrodriguezphd@gmail.com

When Parenting Feels Triggering: It’s Not a Setback — It’s a Sign You’re Healing

Sometimes, your child’s crying wakes up the parts of you that were never comforted.

If you’ve ever felt unexpectedly overwhelmed while parenting — by sadness, frustration, shame, or even a sense of numbness — you’re not alone.

Maybe a meltdown leaves you spiraling with guilt.
Maybe setting a boundary makes your chest tighten.
Maybe a small moment cracks something wide open inside.

These reactions aren’t just about the moment itself.
They’re often echoes from the past — tied to the parts of you that weren’t seen, soothed, or supported when you were growing up.

This doesn’t mean you’re broken.
It means you’re healing. And noticing these moments is a powerful form of awareness.

Ghosts & Angels in the Nursery

There’s a concept in psychology called “Ghosts and Angels in the Nursery.”

• Ghosts are the memories, patterns, and emotional imprints from your own childhood — especially the ones that resurface in high-stress parenting moments.

• Angels are the moments of grace, support, or intuition — whether from your past or from within — that guide you toward doing things differently.

When you’re raising a child while also tending to your own emotional wounds, the past and present can blur.
And sometimes, that can feel like too much.

But the truth is — this isn’t a sign of failure. It’s a sign of transformation.

You’re not just parenting.
You’re reclaiming.
You’re reconnecting — with your child and with yourself.
You’re becoming someone more aware, more present, and more rooted.

Start Where You Are

If any of this feels familiar, I want to acknowledge your courage.
Noticing these patterns — and naming them — is not easy work. It requires strength, honesty, and care.

It’s okay if it feels tender.
It’s okay if it brings up grief.
You’re already doing something brave by being aware.

Therapy Can Support This Process

If you’re a parent or caregiver living in New York, and this post resonates with your experience, you don’t have to navigate this alone.

As a licensed psychologist with expertise in perinatal mental health and intergenerational trauma, I offer a compassionate, culturally responsive space to explore the emotional layers of parenting and healing.

✨ Let’s connect in a free 15-minute consultation to see if therapy might be a good fit.Email me at ashleyrodriguezphd@gmail.com

You deserve care that honors your story — not just as a parent, but as a whole person.

You're not failing.
You're becoming.
And that is sacred work.

Is this Baby Blues or Something Deeper? Understanding PMADs

It’s often said that having a baby changes everything—but few people talk about how it changes you.

The postpartum period is a time of deep emotional, physical, and identity transformation. It’s common to feel overwhelmed, teary, and tired in the first couple of weeks after birth. This is often referred to as the "baby blues" and affects up to 80% of new parents.

But when the sadness lingers, the anxiety sharpens, or the joy disappears completely—you may be experiencing something more serious.

What Are PMADs?

Perinatal Mood and Anxiety Disorders (PMADs) include a spectrum of emotional disorders that occur during pregnancy or within the first year postpartum. They include:

• Postpartum depression

• Postpartum anxiety

• Postpartum OCD

• Postpartum PTSD

• Postpartum psychosis

These are not character flaws or personal failures—they are treatable conditions that affect 1 in 5 birthing people. And they can also affect fathers and non-birthing partners.

Signs It Might Be More Than Baby Blues

• Intense irritability, sadness, or numbness lasting beyond 2 weeks

• Difficulty bonding with your baby

• Constant worry, racing thoughts, or fear of harming yourself or your baby

• Feeling overwhelmed by daily tasks or unable to sleep when the baby sleeps

Culturally Responsive Care Matters

If you're a BIPOC parent, you may be carrying additional layers of stigma, cultural pressure, or silence around emotional struggle. You may feel like you have to be strong, grateful, or perfect.

You don't. You deserve care, too.

A culturally responsive, trauma-informed therapist can hold space for your healing without judgment, and without asking you to explain your culture.

You Are Not Alone

PMADs are common. They are treatable. And seeking support is not weakness—it's love in action.

If you're unsure what you're feeling, therapy can help you sort through the noise and return to yourself. You're not a bad parent. You're a human being in transition.

You deserve support that honors your whole story.

🗓️ Support Is Available

If you’re a new or expecting parent in New York and this post resonates with you, I invite you to schedule a free 15-minute consultation. Together, we can explore what compassionate, culturally responsive care might look like for you. Email me at ashleyrodriguezphd@gmail.com to schedule.

When You’ve Outgrown the Role You Were Raised to Play

Do you ever feel like you’re doing everything "right" on the outside but feel lost on the inside? You may have a steady job, a growing family, or a community you care for deeply—and still wonder, Who am I now?

This is common for many first-generation and BIPOC adults navigating adulthood. We often step into adult roles still carrying the expectations and identities we were handed as children: the fixer, the caretaker, the achiever, the peacemaker.

But as we grow—especially during life transitions like becoming a parent, starting a new relationship, or shifting careers—those roles may no longer fit.

Signs You've Outgrown an Old Role

• You feel resentment doing things you used to take pride in

• You experience burnout from always being the one others depend on

• You struggle to say no or set boundaries, even when you're exhausted

• You find yourself asking, "What do I actually want?"

Why This Feels So Hard

Letting go of old roles can feel like disloyalty. Many of us were conditioned to believe our worth comes from how much we give. Shifting out of these identities may be met with guilt, pushback, or grief.

But here's the truth: growth requires grief. When we outgrow roles, we create space for more authentic self-definition.

Therapy Can Help You Reclaim Your Identity

In therapy, you can:

• Explore who you are beyond the roles you've played

• Grieve the parts of you that were never allowed to rest

• Build language around your needs, not just your responsibilities

• Learn to hold boundaries without shame

Outgrowing a role doesn’t mean you’re abandoning your family. It means you’re finally choosing yourself.

Ready to Reclaim Your Identity?

If you're based in New York and this post resonates with you, I invite you to schedule a free 15-minute consultation. Therapy can help you reconnect with who you truly are—and who you’re becoming.

Email me at ashleyrodriguezphd@gmail.com to schedule a consultation

Why First-Gen Mental Health Is Unique — and Why You’re Not Broken

Being the first in your family to attend college, pursue a professional career, or navigate parenting with emotional awareness is a powerful achievement—and often a lonely one. If you're a first-generation adult, you may feel caught between cultures, roles, and expectations. You may carry pride and pressure in equal measure. This emotional complexity is what makes first-gen mental health both unique and often misunderstood.

What Is a First-Gen Adult?

A "first-generation adult" typically refers to someone who is the first in their family to grow up or come of age in a new country, or the first to access significant milestones such as higher education, professional careers, or therapy. Many first-gen individuals are the U.S.-born children of immigrants, or the first in their family to graduate college, enter white-collar professions, or engage in mental health support. This role often comes with high expectations, uncharted territory, and deep emotional layers.

As a first-gen Latina and psychologist, I see how deeply this duality shapes emotional wellbeing. Many of us were raised in households where emotional awareness wasn’t always accessible—not because our families didn’t care, but because they were navigating economic hardship, cultural displacement, and structural barriers. In these environments, survival often required focus on practical needs rather than emotional reflection. Gratitude was expected. Struggle was normalized. Seeking help was sometimes stigmatized.

The Beauty and Difficulty of Being Bicultural

Living between two cultures is both enriching and disorienting. Gloria Anzaldúa's concept of the "Borderlands" speaks to this experience—the psychological and emotional space where multiple identities intersect, clash, and evolve. First-gen individuals often live in this in-between: translating one world while trying to thrive in another.

You may feel too much or not enough for either culture. You might speak fluent English and still carry shame for not speaking your family's native language fluently. You may feel the need to excel in professional settings while holding onto cultural values of humility, collectivism, and caretaking.

There is beauty in this adaptability AND it comes with grief. Grief for what your parents couldn’t teach you about college applications, financial aid, or setting boundaries. Grief for the parts of yourself that had to grow up too quickly just to make it.

The Strengths of Being First-Gen

Let’s begin by honoring your strengths. First-gen individuals are:

• Resourceful: You've learned to navigate systems your family may not have had access to.

• Resilient: You've carried emotional and logistical burdens with little support.

• Responsible: You've often taken on adult roles early in life—translating, caregiving, advocating.

• Deeply Connected to Family: Even when boundaries are hard, you value your roots.

These traits are incredible and they often come with invisible costs.

The Emotional Weight You Carry

Being "the first" often means:

• Feeling guilt for having opportunities your family didn’t

• Struggling with boundaries and code-switching between home and professional environments

• Minimizing your needs because you were taught not to complain

• Suppressing emotions that don’t feel "productive" or "grateful"

This can lead to anxiety, burnout, identity confusion, and a persistent sense that you are "too much" or "not enough."

You're Not Broken—You're Carrying Too Much

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, or disconnected, it doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means you’re human.

Therapy can be a space where you stop performing strength and start exploring what it means to be held. You don’t have to shrink to honor your family. You don’t have to abandon your values to heal. In fact, culturally responsive therapy integrates your identity and your healing.

You are not broken. You are breaking new ground. And that deserves care.

🗓️ Ready to Start Therapy?

If you live in New York and are looking for a culturally responsive therapist who understands the complexities of first-gen identity, I invite you to schedule a free 15-minute consultation. Let’s explore how therapy can support your healing, growth, and legacy.

👉 Schedule a Consultation: Email me at ashleyrodriguezphd@gmail.com

Welcome to Therapy That Honors Your Culture & Story

✨ Welcome: A Space for Your Healing, Not Your Performance

If you’re here, something inside you is asking for more — more ease, more connection, more clarity.
And maybe, just maybe, you’re tired of holding it all together alone.

I want to begin this blog by saying what often goes unsaid:
Starting therapy is an act of courage.
Whether you're still considering it or already in the process, it’s okay if you feel overwhelmed, unsure, guarded, hopeful, or all of the above.

There is no one “right” way to begin healing.

🧡 All of You Is Welcome Here

If you’re a first-generation adult who’s always been the strong one...
If you're a new parent grieving the version of yourself you once knew...
If you’re navigating life transitions that no one prepared you for…
If you're trying to make peace with a childhood that still shows up in your present…

You are not alone.

Therapy doesn't require you to have all the answers — it invites you to ask different questions.
Questions like:

• “What would it mean to choose myself without guilt?”

• “How do I break the cycle without breaking down?”

• “Who am I outside of the roles I’ve always played?”
  

This blog will be a space where those questions are honored, and where the complexity of your lived experience — as a BIPOC, first-gen, cycle-breaking human — is not only understood, but centered.

🌟 What You Can Expect From This Blog

Here, I’ll share reflections, resources, and clinical insights related to:

• First-generation mental health

• Life transitions and identity exploration

• Perinatal and postpartum emotional wellness

• Boundaries, burnout, and emotional regulation

• Healing from intergenerational trauma

My intention is not to give you quick fixes or rigid checklists.
Instead, I’ll offer grounded guidance rooted in my values as a clinician:

• Trauma-informed care that honors the nervous system and the whole person

• Culturally responsive practice that doesn’t ask you to explain or dilute who you are

• Deep compassion for the stuck, scared, or self-critical parts of you

• Commitment to relational healing, not just surface-level symptom relief

Whether you're here to gather insight, find resonance, or begin your therapy journey, I’m glad you’ve landed here.

💫 A Final Reminder

It’s okay to have doubts.
It’s okay to feel like therapy might be “too much” or “too tender.”
It’s okay if past experiences made you question whether healing is even possible.

And still — you are worthy of care.
You don’t have to carry the weight of your story in silence.
You don’t have to hold your healing alone.

When you're ready, I’m here to walk with you.

In care,
Dr. Ashley Rodriguez
NY Licensed Psychologist | Perinatal Mental Health Certified
Email ashleyrodriguezphd@gmail.com to schedule a consult