Finding My Voice in Two Languages: A Latina Psychologist’s Journey with Spanish and Latinx Mental Health

Growing up in a bilingual household meant that Spanish was always part of my environment, but holding onto it was not always easy. Over time English took up more and more space until my Spanish began to fade. It became common for me to respond to my caregivers in English and rely on a lot of nonverbal communication to get my point across. I understood much of Spanish but felt clumsy when speaking, and I was often criticized when I made mistakes. Those moments added layers of shame to my relationship with the language and made me even more hesitant to use it.

As I became a psychology trainee, I avoided using Spanish clinically. Even though I was proud of my roots and wanted to support Latinx clients, I was fearful of being made fun of and of being ineffective because of my complicated relationship with Spanish. For a long time, that fear kept me from offering therapy in Spanish at all.

Everything shifted during my final externship. My assigned caseload was mostly Spanish speaking. Sometimes the identified patient was Spanish speaking, and other times it was the parent of the patient who was Spanish speaking. I found it especially interesting to work with families where each member had a different level of fluency. In many ways, those dynamics mirrored my own experiences growing up in a bilingual household. It reminded me that language is not just about words. It is about identity, belonging, and the challenges of moving between cultures.

Learning Through Guilt and Growth as a Latina Psychologist

During that externship year, I often carried guilt. Whenever I paused to search for the right word or struggled to explain something, I worried that my clients would feel I was failing them. At the same time, those moments pushed me to grow in ways I never would have chosen on my own. I learned that therapy is not about perfect grammar or polished delivery. It is about presence, empathy, and creating a safe space where clients feel seen. My clients cared far more about feeling understood than about whether I conjugated every verb correctly.

Even now, as a Latina therapist in NYC, I sometimes hesitate to use Spanish professionally. The worry still shows up: Am I fluent enough? Will I be judged for not speaking “perfect” Spanish? Yet experience continues to show me that connection matters more than perfection.

Latinx Mental Health and the “No Sabo” Stigma

Many Latinx individuals carry similar experiences. Some grew up hearing Spanish at home but not speaking it. Others were encouraged to focus on English for school or work and gradually lost their Spanish. Too often, our community shames these individuals, calling them “no sabo kids” and questioning whether they are “Latino enough.”

This judgment can cut deep. Language is a powerful cultural marker, but it is not the only one. Our identities are rooted in ancestry, traditions, values, and lived experience. You do not stop being Latino because of the language you speak. You are enough exactly as you are.

It is also important to remember that Spanish itself was forced on our people through colonization. For many Indigenous and Afro-descendant communities in Latin America, Spanish replaced native languages that held ancestral wisdom. Holding Spanish imperfectly or losing parts of it does not make you less Latino. It reminds us of the complex history that shaped our communities.

Holding Two Worlds at Once as a Bicultural Therapist

As a bicultural therapist in NYC, I hold these tensions with care. I know the ache of feeling like you should be more fluent, more connected, or more authentic. I also know the resilience it takes to navigate two worlds and create an identity that honors both.

For Latinx mental health, these experiences matter. Clients often bring in feelings of not being “enough” in their families, their workplaces, or their cultural communities. Therapy becomes a place where we can name those feelings, challenge the shame, and build a sense of belonging that is not tied to meeting impossible standards.

Affirmations for the Bicultural Journey

I am Latina enough exactly as I am.
My identity is not defined by the language I speak.
Connection matters more than perfection.
I carry my ancestors with me in every language.

Final Reflections

My journey with Spanish has been imperfect, and that is okay. It continues to shape how I show up as a psychologist of color in NYC. I am proud to offer therapy that is culturally responsive and trauma informed, whether in English or Spanish. I know that what truly heals is presence, compassion, and honoring the full humanity of every client.

For anyone navigating similar struggles, I want to say this: you are not alone. Whether you are fluent, relearning, or hesitant to use Spanish at all, you are still part of the Latinx community. You are still worthy of love, belonging, and healing.

✨ If you are seeking support with life transitions, bicultural identity, or perinatal mental health, I would be honored to walk with you. As a Latina psychologist in NYC, I offer therapy that is grounded in cultural humility and compassion.

📞 You can reach me at ashleyrodriguezphd@gmail.com to schedule a free 15-minute consultation.