The Grief We Don’t Talk About During Life Changes
When we think about life transitions such as starting a new job, becoming a parent, or moving to a new place, we often picture excitement, fresh possibilities, and a sense of moving forward.
What is less often discussed is that every new chapter also means leaving something behind. Leaving things behind, even when it is by choice, can bring grief.
Why Grief Shows Up in “Good” Changes
Grief is not reserved for the loss of people. We grieve roles, routines, places, versions of ourselves, and relationships to our old life.
Even a long awaited positive change can stir sadness because a part of you is saying goodbye to what was.
For example:
• The parent who is thrilled to welcome their first child and quietly misses the freedom they once had.
• The first generation graduate who is proud of their new career and feels the distance growing between themselves and their family’s experiences.
• The person who moves to a new city for a dream job and still aches for the familiarity of home.
The Emotional Mix Is Normal
It is normal to feel both joy and sadness, excitement and fear, gratitude and longing at the same time. These are not contradictions. They are a sign you are human.
When you are navigating a big shift, you might notice:
• Waves of nostalgia for your old life
• Unexpected tears that do not seem to match the occasion
• A quiet sense of loss that others might not understand
This does not mean you are ungrateful or making the wrong choice. It means you are feeling the full truth of the change.
How to Honor the Grief in a Transition
• Name it. Say to yourself, “I am grieving this part of my life,” and give it legitimacy.
• Make space for memories. Look at old photos, write in a journal, or create a ritual to mark the transition.
• Give yourself grace. Change is a lot for your nervous system. Rest, slow down, and accept that feelings will ebb and flow.
Affirmations for Navigating This Grief
I can hold gratitude for what is ahead and grief for what I have left behind at the same time.
I am allowed to miss the past while embracing my future.
My feelings do not have to be neat or tidy to be valid.
A Helpful Dialectical Statement
“I am excited for this new chapter, and I am allowed to mourn the old one.”
Holding both truths creates space for compassion toward yourself. You do not have to rush to get over the past to be ready for what is next.
If you live in New York and are navigating a big life change, you do not have to figure it out alone.
I offer trauma informed, culturally responsive therapy to support you through transitions.
📞 Schedule a free 15 minute phone consultation today by emailing me at ashleyrodriguezphd@gmail.com to see if we are a good fit.
